The Enneagram Gives You Permission
I want to talk about the why behind the enneagram and the reason I’m seeing it explode and changing so many people's lives. The thing about the enneagram is it gives people permission to be who they are meant to be. I can see the light that clicks on in their head when they realize you are talking about them.
I have known a lot of people who think personality tests put them in a box. I’m of the mindset that we are constantly trying to figure out ourselves better and if everyone in the world were more self aware how much better off we would be. The enneagram is the way for us to be self aware of what is going on in our heads and how we react to situations around us.
I often get told “I don’t want to be put in a specific type.” But I’ve seen those that have embraced their enneagram type and it has changed their entire perspective on themselves and their enneagram type.
So far we have only gone into the basics of the enneagram. We have gone through how you behave, how you move to different numbers in stress and in growth. I have not gone into the sub types underneath each enneagram type. There is so much within the enneagram. I love it because I felt like other tests I have taken were only surface level. The enneagram tells you why. It also tells you the wounded message that you developed as a child. These wounded messages somehow developed your brain to think the way it does.
The enneagram can also help you learn about other types of people in the world and their thought process. It also tells about your behaviors that you can go into and how not every behavior will align perfectly with your enneagram type.
The enneagram gives you permission to be the person you were meant to be. All the traits that we have in the enneagram can be flipped to a positive or negative. When it’s your enneagram type you often think about the negative characteristics while others around you see those characteristics as a positive.
That’s what I love about enneagrams. We can see our weaknesses and figure out how we can be focusing and working on those weaknesses. In the recent blog posts, I’ve been putting up about each enneagram child. I have resources like children books and parenting resources for ages children, teens and up. Often we have this inner child that we are working on healing.
I feel like this is something that we all struggle with. The trauma of being abused as a child came back after my first child. I started going to therapy and working on my wounded child. During my therapy I realized that a lot of my struggles came from me not growing up in my head as a child because I was stuck in this 3 year old mentality. When something stressful would come up I would revert back to a 3 year old. I would throw a fit, I get angry. I wouldn't know how to express my feelings.
During a group therapy session, I was in a room with other women who had gone through childhood trauma. We were all telling our stories. No one had shared the stories before except for the group we were in. they were horrific traumas that change their ways of thinking and life. As I had listened to their stories, I saw every single woman had grown up to be incredible people. They were all amazing workers. They were kind and generous to others as well as amazing mothers. They all said how insecure they were that they didn't feel loved. They did feel as if anyone would love them and that nobody wanted them.
I remember feeling the same way. How could I feel loved and good about myself at all when these horrible things happened to me. I didn’t know how to love and care for others. I realized it was because I didn’t love myself.
As I looked at all these women telling their stories. A thought popped in my head “Are these women not worthy of loving themselves? Are they not worthy to be loved?” This was a total life changing moment for me because it made me realize that if they all were worthy of love then that must mean that I am worthy of love. Even with everything that I have gone through in my life. I am worthy. I am worthy of love. That changed everything for me.
I hope that is the enneagram for you. It’s a chance for you to heal. If a lot of times you see behaviors within the enneagram and say to yourself “I don’t act like that.” “That’s not me” Instead of denying it, or saying I don't want that. You can ask the question. “Why is it? Was it because someone told me I was too much or too little or too small/ or I wasn't worth the time?” What’s the wounded message that you were told along the way that could hurt you or inspire you now as you get older.
I challenge you to sit and write it out, think about it or talk it out. What is this message that I was given? Now that you know your enneagram type you dive into it and ask yourself how can I use this information and how can I use it to grow. How can I use the information in my family including my spouse. My whole goal with the podcast is to give you permission to be the person you are meant to be. It doesn’t mean that who you are meant to be is the person you are right now or the person you were. It’s to see your perspective of where you can go in life.
You can go anywhere you have these possibilities. If you decide to run with it you can shoot for the moon. You can decide to go after your passion. You can decide to be a more loving and kind mother. Your whole purpose on earth is to figure out our purpose but the world is trying to crush us. Now you know your enneagram you are able to step into your power and into your strength. You are giving yourself permission to be who you are truly meant to be.